What Is This New Deviltry?
by darth-trinity
Summary: PG for my bad language. What happens when a girl "accidently" causes a minor explosion in science class, and her and her 2 best buds end up with different people on their way to Rivendell? Will Middle Earth be plunged into chaos? DUH!
1. UmOops?

What Is This New Devilry?

CHAPTER 1

DISCLAIMER: I own absolutely nothing. But LOTR is on my birthday list, since I didn't get that, Legolas, or the one ring for Christmas.

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"Why do we have do have Science class anyway? Does anyone even pay attention?" Kelsey asked her friend Hailey.

"No." Hailey said, considering that half the class was asleep, and the rest were listening to their discmans.

"We're in Science? I thought it was math." GT asked Hailey.

"Ya, we're in Science." Hailey answered.

"Then what was last period?" GT asked.

"Math. But you wouldn't know, you and Kelsey were making up the nitro glycerin song." Hailey answered, rolling her eyes.

"Oh ya. That was fun." GT recalled.

"Kelsey, will you please come up and demonstrate what I just explained by pouring the chemicals together?" Their teacher asked.

"Okaaay." Kelsey said, walking up and pouring the blue chemical into the white one.

"You poured the wrong one into it!" Their teacher yelled as the mixture began to fiz.

Kelsey didn't answer, as she had dove back under her desk with GT and Hailey.

The chemicals exploded, engulfing the room in blue smoke.

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Kelsey opened her eyes and saw...dirt. Lots of it. She also saw several pairs of feet, wearing weird shoes.

"Damn it, where the hell am I?" She asked. The feet all stopped, and she felt something sharp touch her back.

Kelsey rolled over and saw that she was surrounded by orcs, all of which were pointing swords at her.

"Oh, well isn't this just greeeeeaat?" She asked sarcastically, as the orcs charged at her.

She rolled to the side and grabbed a sword which just happened to be lying there. (A/N So convenient eh?) She swung upwards and slashed the orc through the chest.

"Coooooool..." She said as the orc fell at her feet.

She, of course, in all her great brilliance had stopped paying attention to all the other orcs that were now rushing at her.

One of the orcs swung at her and cut her arm. 

"Ow!! What the hell was that for you jackass?!!!" She yelled, killing him and several other orcs in a fit of extreme rage, which could have been induced by PMS. (A/N It's a good excuse most of the time.)

The remaining seven orcs closed in on her. One knocked the sword out of her hand.

"Oh shit." She muttered. "Umm...Okay, time to put the Matrix to good use."

She started kicking and punching the orcs, and all of them fell eventually.

"HA!!! TAKE THAT!!!!!" She yelled to no one in particular. "Hey, where'd Hailey and GT go?"

She heard someone walk up behind her. '_Geez, how many of them are there?'_ She thought. The footsteps stopped right behind her, and she threw her fist back into whatever was behind her. She wheeled around, fists up, to see what she had punched.

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Hailey landed on the branch of a tree. "Where am I?" She asked aloud, looking down. She fell off the branch, hitting every other branch of the tree, cursing all the way down, before she landed on the ground, with her hair over her face.

"I'll say, I've never heard such foul language!" Said a voice behind her.

"HOLY SWEET JESUS!!!!" Hailey yelled as she wheeled around.

"I repeat my previous statement!" Aragorn said in shock, staring at the short female who had just fallen at his feet.

"Where the hell am I?!" Hailey yelled.

"Outside of Bree." Aragorn answered.

"I'm in Middle Earth?" Hailey screeched.

"Yes." Aragorn said.

"Cool!!!" Hailey yelled. "Where are we going?"

"Who said you were coming with us?" Aragorn asked.

"I did!" Hailey answered cheerfully. "Wait, did you say us?"

"Yes I did." Aragorn answered. "I'm on my way to Rivendell with four hobbits."

"Mr. Strider?" Asked Sam, coming up behind Aragorn.

"DWA!!! Evil short person!!" Hailey yelled, pointing at Sam.

"What is it Sam?" Aragorn asked, ignoring Hailey, who was screaming as loud as she could in terror.

"Who is she?" Sam asked.

"I do not know." Aragorn replied. He raised his voice to yell over Hailey's screams. "Who are you and where are you from?"

"My name is Hailey, and I'm from Canada. Oh wait, you don't know where that is. Umm...Let's just say I'm not from here okay?" Hailey answered.

"I see. Why are you following us?" Aragorn asked.

"I don't know. I was in Science class, paying no attention and talking to my friends when Kelsey messed up on an experiment with chemicals and then she almost blew up our classroom and I ended up here and- Hey! Where are GT and Kelsey anyway?" She asked.

"I do not know who you are talking about." Aragorn told her. "And why are you here?"

"I guess I got sent here when the chemicals exploded." Hailey told him, shrugging.

"What are chemicals?" Aragorn asked.

"Stuff that does bad things when you don't put them together right." Hailey attempted to explain.

"Right. So, be on your way then." Aragorn told her.

"No way! I don;t know where I am. Oh wait, yes I do. The MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!!!!!!!" Hailey yelled.

Aragorn rolled his eyes and walked away. Hailey followed.

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GT landed in a bush. "OW!!!!" She yelled, followed by several profanities I'm not sure if I'm allowed to write down in a PG 13 fic.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Asked a voice from outside of the bush.

"I have no *censored* clue you *censored*." GT answered standing up.

"And why do you use such foul language?" Asked Boromir.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" GT yelled so loudly that birds flew out of the nearby trees. 

"What?" Boromir asked.

"Not. Him. Not Him. Not Him." GT repeated over and over again, banging her head against a tree with each word.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Boromir asked.

"No. But I know that you're the biggest scumbag ever to walk Middle Earth." GT shot back, still banging her head against the tree trunk.

"What did you call me?" Boromir asked in disbelief.

"A scumbag! And I could come up with a thousand other words too!" GT yelled. She was still smacking her head against the tree trunk.

"Where did you come from?" Boromir asked.

"Living hell." GT muttered. "I came from another world okay?"

"Okay, and why are you following me to Rivendell?"

"I'm not following you, I landed in the bush five minutes ago!" GT yelled back. "Wait, did you say Rivendell?"

"Yes I did."

"Then I'm following you so I can go to Rivendell to see the elves, because if I didn't follow someone, I'd end up hopelessly lost." GT replied.

"Fine then." Boromir said, walking away.

GT followed him. "Elves. Think about the elves." She told herself in an attempt to keep her sanity. Oh wait, that had gone away when she was three.

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Okay, how was it? Reviews good. Flames bad. Get picture? Goooood, I have trained u well. ^_^


	2. Blood Sucking Squirrels, Rabid Sparrows ...

What Is This New Deviltry?

CHAPTER 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lord of the Rings. If I did, do you really think I'd be sitting at my computer writing yet another pointless story for fanfiction.net?

To recap: Three mindlessly idiotic teenage girls have ended up in Middle Earth after a minor chemical accident that was the result of paying absolutely no attention.

MORE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelsey wheeled around with her fists up, ready to punch yet another orc. But what was behind her wasn't exactly an orc.

"What on earth did you do that for?!" yelled a blond elf, who's face was hidden by a hooded cloak.

"You snuck up on me you *censored*!!!" Kelsey yelled back.

"Who are you? You're dressed very strangely for a maiden."

"My name's Kelsey, and I'm dressed like this because there's no way in hell I'm wearing a *censored* dress!!!!!!!" Kelsey yelled back, punching again.

"Where did you come from?" The elf asked.

"My science class. I uh, blew something up. But it was an accident!!" She added. "And who in the name of hell are you?"

"My name is Legolas," the elf said, dropping his hood.

Kelsey now lost any last shred of sanity she possessed and started hyper ventilating. "LEGOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screeched.

"Do I know you?" He asked in confusion.

"No, but I know you." She answered.

"How?"

"Umm...Never mind." She said, not thrilled with the idea of explaining the concept of movies. "Where are we going?"

"Who said we were going anywhere?" Legolas asked.

"Me." Kelsey replied. "And if you don't let me come I'll..Um.... Do something."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Fine. You can come to Rivendell with me."

"WE'RE GOING TO RIVENDELL?!!!!!" Kelsey screeched.

"Do you want more orcs to come?" Legolas asked her.

"Hell no!" Kelsey replied. "They smell funny." She added.

"Because by the way you're yelling, it seems like you do!" He told her.

Kelsey rolled her eyes and picked up her sword, her hoodie sliding up her cut arm.

"You're hurt." Legolas told her.

"So?" She asked. 

"So-" Legolas stopped talking as something moved in a bush up ahead.

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"Are we there yet?" Hailey asked. Again.

"No," Aragorn replied. This girl was really starting to get on his nerves.

"Are we there now?" She asked, skipping along through the forest.

"No."

"Are we there now?" She asked.

"That is very annoying you know." Aragorn told her.

"I know!" Hailey said cheerfully, tripping over a tree root. "OW!!!!" She yelled, followed by a very long string of curses in various languages.

"Where do you learn such foul language?" Aragorn asked in shock.

"Well, I used to, like, never swear, but then I started hanging out with Kelsey, and we're sorta bad influences on each other." Hailey told him, getting up.

"Who is Kelsey?" Aragorn asked.

"One of my bestest buddies." Hailey answered, using her excellent grammar skills. "Hey, speaking of Kelsey, where-" Hailey ran into a tree due to the fact that she was walking backwards. "OW! What kind of *censored* moronic *censored, censored, censored* puts a *censored* tree here anyways?"

Aragorn just stared in amazement at this girls rudeness.

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GT was walking along after Boromir, thinking of the most convenient way to plot mayhem.

"Okay, I could steal something. No, gotta be better than that. Hmm..." She muttered.

"We will camp here tonight." Boromir announced, stopping in a small clearing.

"Here? Here as in the *censored* middle of *censored* no where?" GT asked in disbelief.

"Yes. We wake at dawn." Boromir said, rolling his eyes.

"Umm...How about HELL NO YOU *censored, censored, censored* son of a *censored*?!!!!" GT yelled back, objecting to the thought of waking up any earlier than 11 am.

"Young maiden, we shall do whatever I say." Boromir threatened. He was promptly hit in the face by GT's fist. Hard.

Suddenly, an idea crossed GT's mind. "Okay, we'll wake at dawn, and camp here." She agreed with a slight smile.

Boromir placed a bowl of something in front of GT, who took a bite, and immediately spat it out in Boromir's face.

"What the *censored* is this *censored*?!! It's the grossest lump of crap I've ever tasted!!!" GT yelled.

"It is cooked rabbit, and you will eat it!" Boromir told her.

"Umm... How bout NO?!!!!" GT yelled back, getting up and walking over to the forest.

"Where are you going?" Boromir asked.

"I'm going to feed my supper to the rabid animals, it shouldn't go to waste." GT said over her shoulder.

Boromir got up and started to walk after her. At least if she got killed, he wouldn't have to put up with any more mindless jabbering.

GT walked back about half an hour later.

"What took you so long?" He asked.

"I had to feed my supper to the rabid sparrows and chipmunks, and the blood sucking squirrels." GT answered, jumping up and down.

"Right. Go to sleep." Boromir said, throwing a blanket at GT, who caught it and threw it back. 

"I want a different blanket!" She whined.

"Why?" Boromir asked.

"Because that one smells funny." She said.

Boromir rolled his eyes and gave her another blanket.

"Yay!!" GT yelled, dropping onto the ground with the blanket.

Boromir rolled his eyes and laid down with the second blanket and fell asleep.

"The blood sucking squirrels are gonna kill you while you sleep!!!!" GT yelled, strangely cheerful, as it was around 2 am.

Boromir looked at her in confusion. She was wearing the blanket as a cape, and had drawn fangs on her face with some sort of paint. She also was smiling in such a fashion that would make any one else emit a girlie high pitched squeal and run as fast as they could in the other direction. But since it was the middle of the night, Boromir just raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you wearing the blanket like that?" Boromir asked.

"I'M A VAMPIRE!!!!" GT yelled, laughing like a maniac. "And.." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I know what you did last summer." She ran off into the trees, still laughing like a maniac.

Boromir tried to sleep, but was once again awakened by the crazed maiden.

"Look at my army of blood sucking squirrels!" GT yelled, showing him five squirrels. 

"They don't look that OW!!!!!!" Boromir yelled as he reached out to stroke one of the squirrels, who's eyes turned red as it sunk its sharp fangs into his finger.

"They're VICIOUS!!!!!" GT screamed, running in a circle.

Boromir rolled his eyes as the young, crazy maiden ran back into the forest screaming something about brain sucking llamas.

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Wow, like half that chapter was about GT. I guess the DR.Pepper demanded it. Aneewhosies, review this chappie okey doke?


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